Wedding!

I went to a very lovely wedding at the weekend. It was at a restaurant in the countryside surrounded by rice paddies. We sat outside at tables with the late afternoon sunshine filtering through the birch trees, drinking wine and feasting on scallops the size of the bride's cheek. The groom's family had come all the way from Canada. The bride, who is Japanese, made a great speech to her mum. 'I want to be a funky mum like you were to me - the kind of mum who buys her kid the latest Eminem CDs!' She said.
As for the bouquet, it isn't thrown in Japan. The bride holds a handful of long white ribbons - only one is actually tied to the bouquet - and all the single women at the party take a ribbon each. When the bride lets go of the ribbons, they all fall to the ground except for the one tied to the bouquet. To my great surprise, I found myself vaguely hoping mine would be the winning ribbon. Weddings do that to you. But it wan't to be - instead the bride's sister got it, which was very moving, but I have a suspicion it was rigged all along. I soon cheered up when they cracked open a bottle of Dom Perignon for the losing ladies as consolation. Bugger the bouquet, I thought, as the silvery bubbles danced merrily in my glass. Later, the sun went down and coloured the sky a deep orange, the frogs in the paddies began their chorus of croaking, a mirror ball was hoisted, and the dancing began...
Another difference about Japanese weddings is that the guests pay money on arrival, rather than give presents. This is actually quite a clever idea, to my mind. The guests don’t have to stress about what present to buy, and instead can concentrate on the very important matter of what to wear. It also, thankfully, eliminates the possibility of the couple-to-be handing out a ‘gift registry’, a fairly recent custom, which. whatever way I look at it, seems presumptuous and in poor taste, although the department store who coined that ingenious marketing scheme probably has a different take on it. Most importantly, the newly married couple won’t be left out of pocket.
I love weddings. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not the kind of girl who dreamed of a white wedding. I remember last year, driving through Aomori with the bride and groom (at that time just sweet lovers), and talking about marriage.
‘I’ve never thought that I would get married, it just hasn’t been something I particularly wanted to do,’ I said.
The groom-to-be frowned. ‘But don’t you want to find one person to spend the rest of your life with?’ He asked. At these words a cold feeling of terror crept over me.
‘Well, ah, when you put it like that…’ I faltered.
Maybe I’m getting older, but I think I can now understand a little better why people get married. The colleague of mine who got married recently said what surprised him was how happy his engagement announcement made his family and friends. Marriage is perhaps not so much for the couple themselves, but for the community. We need weddings, as a time to come together, and celebrate love and family. Of all our festivals and rituals, they are maybe the most joyful. On top of that, they’re a great excuse to buy a new pair of shoes. You never know, I might be the next. Yuki did propose to me last Spring, under the cherry blossom trees, although to be quite honest, he was surrounded and practically forced to propose by a large group of drunken Japanese gangsters. But that's another story.
'Those guys just seem so right for each other,' I commented to my friend at the wedding. 'Those kind of couples are so rare.'
'Yeah, maybe,' replied my friend. 'Or maybe it's not so rare - but other couples who are right for each other sometimes let other stuff get in the way. Those two are just very, very clear about it.'
Dave and Yumiko, I wish you the very, very best for your married life. You are so good and kind to each other, it was a real pleasure to be at your wedding.